Predicting political preference is child's play

You might think that determining one's political persuasion might be something that has to wait until a person has reached adulthood. That is not the case here in Australia, where a simple values test performed in the first years of life can easily determine one's future political preference. The test goes like this:

1. Separate infant from mother. Infant becomes distressed.
2. Buy infant lots of new toys as a surrogate.
3. If infant is satisfied by the toys and forgets its mother, then the infant is destined to support the Liberal Party (for those unfamiliar with the Australian poitical landscape, as you no doubt deduced from its name this is the main conservative party).
4. If the infant still holds a place in its heart for its mother, establishing which of the remaining parties the individual will support will require more sophisticated testing once the child reaches adulthood. This is why the right to vote is not granted before the age of 18.